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[ASK AN EXPERT] Boardroom Missteps: How Do You Navigate Member Conflicts?
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Updated - 08/28/2025
Our Ask An Expert series features real questions answered by Claire Axelrad, J.D., CFRE, also known as Charity Clairity. Today’s question comes from a board Prgoram Chair who wants advice on how to navigate board member conflicts:
Dear Charity Clairity,
I am Program Chair of my board, and have been responsible for setting up lectures and workshops for the last five years. Last year, another board member set up another group of competing events without consulting with me. I reached out to her, the President, and one other officer and politely requested I be apprised of any workshop offers before they go out. They agreed to do so in the future. Incident closed.
It’s a year later and, a few days ago, the president sent out a workshop email without informing me first. I again wrote her a polite request to please let me know in the future. She became very defensive, accusing me of “reprimanding “the member who had done the same thing last year. Now she’s telling me the board will censure me! I have tried talking to her, but she’s acting like we’re opponents. I have great working relationships with every other board member, but she tells me they all agree! Can a President be reprimanded themself?
–Hurt, isolated and confused.
Dear Hurt, isolated and confused,
I appreciate your reaching out, and am sorry you are going through this. It can’t be easy.
Alas, what you describe is an all-too-common situation of people with different opinions, miscommunication, and a hardening of positions. It’s a people problem, not a fundraising problem.
Defuse the situation
At this point, everyone’s defenses are up. Generally, this will not lead to a good outcome. Try putting yourself in the other person’s shoes and ask: Why might this person be behaving this way? How might this make perfect sense from their perspective? Hopefully, they will do the same for you.
It’s important to guard against making assumptions. We get in trouble when we make guesses (e.g., “deliberately undermining” or “reprimanding”) about why someone is doing something, or what they are thinking. If you can reframe the narrative for yourself, you’ll be in a better position to move forward.
Open the dialogue
If you can, try scheduling a private conversation (no email) with the president to reset things. If the president remains unwilling, see if you can enlist a fellow board member to broach the subject and join you.
Generally, there is more than one side to a story, and everyone deserves the opportunity to calmly and respectfully tell their personal narratives. You each need to understand where this problem is really coming from, and open communication is essential.
Clarify expectations
It appears your understanding of your role as Program Chair may differ from that of the president and other members. Which brings me to the importance of setting clear expectations for board members, including their roles, responsibilities, and expected behavior. This is essentially a preventive measure, and can be achieved through written policies, job descriptions, and board orientation materials.
If you don’t currently have these in place, now is an opportunity to suggest creating them. If you do have them, this is a good time to revisit them together.
Mediate, if necessary
If a private conversation doesn’t resolve the issue, consider engaging a neutral third party to mediate the conflict. A skilled mediator can help facilitate open dialogue and guide you towards a mutually agreeable solution. The ideal would be to not have to censure anyone.
In terms of who can be censured or removed from a board, generally this is something that should be covered in the bylaws. It may also be covered by the laws in your state. Removing a board member can be a complex process, and any movement towards this resolution should be well documented (e.g., behaviors; attempts made to address the issue; etc.) and done in consultation with legal counsel who specialize in nonprofits.
Revisit your mutual commitment
I’m sure you’re all committed to the organization’s mission and are generally coming from a place of love. For now, try to open up the dialogue. Encouraging collaboration over competition helps minimize conflict. And a culture that prioritizes teamwork and mutual support creates a more cohesive and effective board.
I hope you begin feeling more positive soon,
— Charity Clairity (Please use a pseudonym if you prefer to be anonymous when you submit your own question, like “Hurt, isolated and confused” did.)
How does your organization navigate board member conflicts? Let us know in the comments.
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