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[ASK AN EXPERT] What Are Some Storytelling Pitfalls To Avoid?

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Our Ask An Expert series features real questions answered by Claire Axelrad, J.D., CFRE, our very own Fundraising Coach, also known as Charity Clairity. Today’s question comes from a nonprofit employee who wants advice on what mistakes nonprofits should avoid when crafting compelling stories:  

Dear Charity Clairity,

I’ve been hearing a lot about storytelling and want to be sure I avoid common pitfalls. My boss wants to be sure we incorporate the story of our history, plus awards we’ve recently won, into our narrative. I’m not so sure that’s compelling to donors. What mistakes have you seen nonprofits make when it comes to storytelling and engagement? 

— Seeking Enlightenment

Dear Seeking Enlightenment,

One of the biggest mistakes nonprofits make is filling their communications with cold hard data rather than emotional stories. For more information about how to avoid falling into this trap, read this on why you want to appeal to emotion rather than reason. Especially in a fundraising appeal!

But let’s take it back a few steps. Before you get to the point of crafting compelling stories, you must understand (1) what a story is/is not, and (2) what’s engaging/not engaging.

So, today, I’d like to talk about three other ways nonprofits fail to put their best foot forward when talking with prospective supporters about the problems they address, the solutions they seek, and how the donor can help make a positive impact.

1. A story is not a category

Don’t lead with your service category! When asked what you do, don’t tell me you’re an arts organization, social services agency, university, hospital foundation, school, international aid organization, animal rescue mission, environmental nonprofit, mutual aid society, civil rights group, or any other category of service. These are just empty structures.

Instead, tell me something specific and meaningful that calls you to this mission. Get to the root of why you feel you’re engaged in tackling one of the world’s — or your community’s — most pressing problems. Talk about the single most important thing you’re dealing with — or care about — right now.

  • You’re creating opportunities for struggling artists to bring beauty to the world.
  • You’re healing sick people, who will otherwise suffer.
  • You’re giving tomorrow’s leaders the knowledge and skills they’ll need to become productive members of society.
  • You’re engaging in life-changing research, without which suffering will result.
  • You’re helping youth develop healthy, successful lives.
  • You’re providing rescue and relief where otherwise people would be unable to thrive.
  • You’re saving abused animals from cruelty and suffering.
  • You’re saving a dying ocean, without which our planet will not survive.
  • You’re fighting against injustice to give everyone equal rights and ensure democracy survives.

You exist because of stories—stories of problems you’re working to solve. Tell stories of those you’re helping, and what role the donor can play in this work. The best stories are experiential journeys of understanding and empathy. Told well, the listener/reader sees what the character sees and feels what they feel. On some level, they relate to them.

TIP: Keep in mind different stories resonate with different people, So, you’ll want to collect a variety. Some ways to find and disseminate stories include:

  1. Bring clients to present at board, committee, and staff meetings. 
  2. Get board members out in the field to visit programs. 
  3. Send board members and targeted donors a “story of the week”/ “month.”
  4. Ask board members and staff to share field stories at meetings. 
  5. Write stories down, and share them with everyone after the meetings (so those who were present remember them, and those who were not can hear them).

2. Eschew the weeds and focus on the change

Don’t get lost in the depth/breadth of what your organization does. People are interested in what they can do to create positive change. Sure, sometimes you’ll want to talk to major donor prospects about details. But, as a general rule, you don’t want to come at a prospective donor like a firehose.

Your history and awards are not about change. They’re about the past. And your ego. Donors care about the future. And their own egos. They’re looking to co-create a better future with you. They’re not interested in hearing you brag about your accomplishments.

Be sure to incorporate into your narrative what change the donor’s gift will bring about. Simple black and white results. “You’ll restore hope” is not something a donor can visualize. Tell a simple, short story. Show them what they can do to give that story a happy ending:

  • If they give, something clearly good happens.
  • If they don’t, something clearly bad happens.

TIP: Complexity kills fundraising. The truth is donors don’t care about all of the ways in which you work — numbers served, geographic reach, number of staff and volunteers, years in existence, range of programs, awards won. Giving is triggered by the social-emotional part of the brain. Donors get a jolt of pleasurable dopamine and a warm glow merely contemplating a philanthropic gift. But, as soon as complexity (numbers, data, facts, figures) enters the picture, a more analytical part of the brain is triggered. This part of the brain thinks and deliberates, stopping your would-be donor dead in their tracks. It may motivate contemplation; it won’t motivate giving. What donors really care about is results – yearned for and made possible. The best fundraising is simple.

3. Include all 3 key story elements

What all good stories have in common is a protagonist, problem, and solution. If you miss any of these ingredients, you’ll fail to engage your reader/listener.

  1. A protagonist is a single individual, not a group. The struggling artist, cancer survivor, student with a learning challenge, parent of an autistic child, trans youth, hungry child, abused animal, dying ocean, prisoner unjustly incarcerated. The story hinges on the person and how they think, feel and encounter the world.
  2. A problem begs to be overcome. Without one, you’ve perhaps got a narrative (an account of events). But, not a story that will draw people in enough to make them want to act.
  3. A solution is an outcome that creates change, giving the donor a pivotal role. There’s got to be a pay-off. In fundraising appeals, this is generally the call to action. It might be an ask for a charitable gift. Or it might simply be asking people to share the story with their networks.

TIP: Don’t make the mistake of crafting your story until you’ve first outlined each of these three key elements. Sometimes protagonists are easy to come by, other times you have to really think. For example, if you’re a marine conservation center you may think the protagonist is the facility. Or a program for which you’re trying to raise funds. Dig deeper. Perhaps the real protagonist is the ocean or the coral reefs. The problem is they’re starving or dying. The solution? What do you really need – right now – to move the needle and create positive change?

Hope this helps enlighten you so you can move forward in crafting compelling stories that really draw people in!

— Charity Clairity (Please use a pseudonym if you prefer to be anonymous when you submit your own question, like “Seeking Enlightenment” did.)

Have you seen success with crafting compelling stories? Let us know in the comments. 

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