ARTICLE
Securing The First Donor Meeting
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Updated - 08/05/2025
What is the most challenging element of the resource development continuum that starts with “nice to meet you” and concludes with “thank you for your gift?”
We were among the many that were surprised by the conclusion reached according to those surveyed in Langley Innovations’ and Donor Participation Project’s State of the Development Profession Survey. It is “getting the first donor meeting.” No other challenge comes close to it. This finding is all the more mysterious because the majority of those surveyed expressed confidence in their ability and overall level of training, felt as if their fundraising materials were effective, and thought their performance metrics were fair.
We were expecting to hear that it was asking for the gift, especially face to face.
But common sense reminds us that without the first donor meeting nothing else is possible in forging new friendships for nonprofits, sharing crucial data and stories on mission impact, and ultimately earning gifts of time, talent, and treasure.
So, let’s share experience, lessons learned, and personal insights on principles, strategies, and best practices for securing the all-important initial meetings with donor prospects. Our favorite format is “lists of 10,” so here are our 10 stratagems acquired over a long career in the advancement profession.
- Turn up the temperature: They are referred to as “cold calls” with good reason. The donor prospect doesn’t know you or have any reason to trust you. That’s why we always emphasize that all staff, board members, volunteers, and other members of the nonprofit family can contribute hugely to resource development success without ever having to ask for gifts themselves. This starts with breaking the ice and introducing contacts within their professional, personal, and civic networks to the mission of the nonprofit. So, when you reach out by telephone, email, or text, it can be a much more desirable “warm call.”
- Money is the last thing on your agenda: The top priority is discovering everything possible about the donor prospect’s background, motivations, values, and priorities. Your purpose is simply to learn their stories, and most people love sharing their stories.
- Schedule at their convenience: We’re all different and are all on different schedules. Find out their sweet spots. Just as important, find out their preference for communication — phone, email, text, or hopefully in person. On the topic of in-person meetings, we consistently find that neutral site coffees in midmorning or midafternoon are much easier to schedule than lunches.
- Ask for their opinions: The old adage remains true as ever — ask for money and you get advice, but ask for opinions and the door opens to gifts down the road.
- Listen more than talk: We like the formula suggested by our good friend and mentor, Laura Fredricks, CEO and Founder of THE ASK©, who defines a productive meeting as one in which the donor speaks 75% of the time and the nonprofit representative 25%. Be disciplined in delaying the temptation to share the mission, vision, and values of your organization.
- Play show and tell: It’s one thing to talk about your nonprofit, but there’s no substitute for having donor prospects see facilities and observe the impact of programs and services for themselves. Especially powerful is putting faces to beneficiaries and those served by the mission.
- Set a specific objective: Go into each and every meeting with one measurable takeaway in mind. This could be as basic as learning what’s important to the donor prospect and initiating a new friendship.
- Be fanatical about follow-up: If you are fortunate enough to enjoy a productive first meeting, consider that your work has just begun. Keep momentum building by following up via the other party’s preferred method of communication. If you are asked questions you can’t answer, be sure to research it and relay that information as swiftly as possible. We call sending handwritten notes through snail mail the secret sauce of stewardship. How many do you receive each day? This will definitely set you apart and above others.
- Enter notes into your donor CRM: Typically, we call these “contact reports” that address the highlights of what was learned during the meeting and next steps in advancing the friendship.
- Strategically plan the next “move:” The ultimate goal is obtaining gifts of time, talent, and treasure. The greater the target amount, especially for major gifts, requires more time and distinct activities aligning the values, priorities, and needs of donor prospects with the mission of your nonprofit.
Consider the first meeting as the equivalent of a first date. You’re on your best behavior. You want a second, third, and successive dates that culminate in an authentic bond that grows closer and closer over time and a partnership that benefits everyone involved.
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Kristen Hay
Sherry Shaffer